TALL TAILS

Gomez - The House God

Common Side Blotched Lizard
"Uta Stansburiana"

Please, is there anything 'common' about this little guy? Even his Latin name is longer than he is. Scientific classifications identify a species exactly; it names one specific thing and no other. Habits and range and diet are delineated in excruciating detail, as was the case with this fellow. Except for one thing. He is drop dead gorgeous.....and, really, really fast.

Camera poised, you can get within four feet as his eyes swivel around, checking your progress. But, just as you are ready to snap a picture, he skitters ahead a few more feet, rolls his eyes and waits. Until a car door slams. Then he moves so lightning fast that for a millisecond, you are left staring at empty space until your brain kicks in and records the fact that he is gone.

Like Gomez, he has a perky personality and fabulous color, so he is definitely worth pursuing. But you wouldn't know that by his name. Consider the following conversations:

ME: Oh! Look! A little blue and green 'Geico Gecko' lizard with a turquoise tail!
YOU: Where? (.....as everyone within earshot comes my way.)

OR

ME: Look! A Common Side Blotched Lizard!
YOU: ........(No one is saying anything. They are all jumping up on the nearest benches before razor sharp teeth sink into their ankles.)
Do lizards even have teeth? Does anyone care? First impressions are everything. I wouldn't get out of the car for a 'side blotched' anything.

'Side Blotched' or 'Turquoise Tail'? I'm just saying.